Before we get into the techniques - the science behind female sexual gratification - let’s first have a quick look at the subject of orgasms as a whole.
The male climax, which combines ejaculation with an orgasm, is – unless a guy has got something pretty seriously wrong with him – a foregone conclusion in sex. We guys know that when we cum it’s usually end game for us, so we tend to use our orgasms as a marker – the amount of time that elapses between first insertion to final climax constitutes our sexual performance, good or bad. Whether we last as long as we’d like, or do all the things we’d love to do, we’re always guaranteed that predictable pay-off at the end of it all.
Women, on the other hand – and somewhat unsurprisingly – are totally different. Whether they achieve an orgasm is entirely dependent on a host of requirements, including but not limited to: the guy’s sexual ability, the female’s knowledge of how her body works, and her mood at the time of sex. Then there’s the added headache (for us!) of women faking orgasms just to please us and keep our egos in check. All combined, giving a girl an orgasm - and realizing that we have - is usually a tricky business for most guys.
But there ARE things you can do to ensure you stand the absolute best chance of bringing your partner or partners to the highest possible point of sexual pleasure. These are concepts most men never hear of or, if they do, never try – because, to be honest, if they did give them a whirl, the female orgasm really wouldn't be such an elusive, unattainable thing. Here they are: the techniques and strategies you should use to give a woman an orgasm…every time.
1. PROPER BUILD-UP. Sexual satisfaction and stimulation happens in two different ways: in the mind, and in the body. Many men forget about this balance of the mental and physical, and rush into penetrative sex too quickly, with too much pace. Instead you need to start slow and gradually intensify the attention you give the girl and the actions you perform. So, begin intercourse with slow strokes that vary in depth and angle. Doing this does two things. First, it warms the woman up physically and allows her body to fully accept and accommodate you. Second, it gives you a vital opportunity to watch for what type of stroke speed, depth and angle stimulates the girl the most and pleasures her to the highest degree. Listen to her moans, watch her eyes and try to sense her excitement levels as you vary your technique.
2. DISPLAY YOUR FOCUS. Don’t be afraid to make it obvious that your main goal is pleasuring her as much as you possibly can. Many men feel as if it makes them seem soppy or subordinate to display a desire to only pleasure the female and forget about themselves, but this is a mistake. When you show how much you care about showing her a good time, you achieve three things. First, you turn her on emotionally and mentally (which, as I just mentioned, is vital). Second, you open up healthy communication between the two of you – she can verbally tell you what feels the best and where you should focus. The third reason is the simplest of all: the more you focus your attention on something, the more likely you are to achieve your goal.
3. DOUBLE STIMULATION. Most women achieve their orgasms from external, clitoral stimulation and not penetrative, vaginal sex. So, focus plenty of attention on pleasuring her with your fingers or orally AND giving her external gratification (such as rubbing her clit lightly in a circular motion with the tips of your index, middle and ring fingers) while partaking in actual intercourse. This more than doubles the chance of reaching orgasm.
It’s important we sum up what we've just been over – doing so locks the information in your head and makes it easy for you to use it next time you ‘get it on’. First, take it slow and watch for her reactions. When you see her react strongly and positively, remember what action or stroke type or sex position you used. SHOW HER you care about making her feel good. Not only does it make her feel turned on but also automatically more willing and eager to return the favor in spades! Lastly, vary the action. Mix up intercourse with external stimulation to really boost her pleasure. If you do everything you've read here, you’re guaranteed to improve your sex life and the number of orgasms your girl has in it. So give it a go!
W. Wilcox is the expert author of Orgasmology, an online guide that coaches men on the special techniques that make up the science of explosive sex and multiple orgasms.